The Yes Brain Workbook by Siegel Daniel J.;Payne Bryson Tina; & Tina Payne Bryson

Author:Siegel, Daniel J.;Payne Bryson, Tina; & Tina Payne Bryson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: PESI

When the four S’s are a part of a child’s life in a consistent (not perfect) way, they know they have a safe base from which they can venture out, and a place to return to if things get too hard. This secure base allows kids to step out into the unknown and develop the confidence and grit to tackle whatever life sends their way. While you obviously know what these words mean, in the context of your children, we define them this way:

• Safe: where they feel protected and sheltered from harm.

• Seen: where they know you care about them, understand them, and pay attention to them.

• Soothed: where they know you’ll be there for them and help them when they’re hurting.

• Secure: develops from the other S’s so they trust you to predictably help them feel “at home” in the world, then learn to help themselves feel safe, seen, and soothed. Security develops when our children come to know that even when there are ruptures in the first three S’s, a repair will be reliably initiated and reconnection established.

Let’s take a moment to consider how well you think you’re doing with providing your kids with their daily dose of the Four S’s. Start by choosing two different colored pens or pencils for this exercise. One color to represent you, and the other to represent your child. Using the following blank graph chart, on a scale of 1–5, using your color, place a mark where you’d rate yourself on making sure your kids consistently (not perfectly) feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. Next, take the other color and, using the 1–5 scale, place a mark where you’d rate your child’s need for that particular S (e.g., some kids just feel naturally more secure. Or you may have been doing a great job with making sure your kids feel safe, but less so when it comes to making sure they feel soothed when they need it). We provided a sample chart.

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